reluctant

some of you may know of habit of looking up apartments and cars on Cragislist.com. It's an awfully strange pasttime and probably a waste of time but it gives me a thrill/comforting feeling unlike anything else. Every day I imagine another possible place I could live at some point in the future. I think about funny things like what I would put on my walls, where I would find placemats, and what I would serve company.

I have this very strong image in my mind of who I want to be. It consists of a home, warm and inviting. a cat on a blanket. a pot of herb tea, something baking in the oven, music playing, a plate of cheese and crackers, a shelf of plants near a window... I have pictures of barbeques, cajun music, gardening, Saturday mornings, late nights with tea and my cat... it's ridiculous really. People (my parents) tell me that it will come soon enough, don't rush it, you're young enjoy not being tied down... that's all sensible and nice... but... I still want my own home.

Top 5 songs that make me think of this fantastical place (right now at least):
1. "Shelter from the Storm" Bob Dylan
2. "Chelsea Morning" Joni Mitchell
3. "Rusting Gate" Kelly Joe Phelps
4. "Telling Stories" Greg Brown
5. "Charlie" Peter Mulvey

there are several runners-up. I simply hope that when I can finally acheive this dream, it won't let me down for some other dream further ahead.

The most reluctant traveler. That's me.